The Idea of Home
“Where are you from?” seems like an innocuous question, but it’s always a challenge for me to answer. Is the person asking about my heritage, my citizenship, or where I live? Sometimes the asker expects me to provide the ‘obvious’ answer— like China or somewhere else in Asia, based on the colour of my skin. Sometimes the asker assumes I am from the US because I speak English.
Every so often, the asker might dig deeper, prompting me to give them the full answer: “I am a Taiwanese Canadian born in Japan. Since 2008, I have lived and worked in the UAE, Bahrain, Hong Kong, and Sri Lanka. Up until three weeks ago, I lived in Madison, Indiana with Derek’s family. Now, I am living in Taichung, Taiwan, which is where my parents were born and raised.”
So, tell me, where am I from?
As a Canadian citizen, Canada is always home to me—it was where I was educated and spent my formative years. Taiwan is also my home—my parents live there, and I do have Taiwanese citizenship. However, I always feel like a sham Taiwanese person since I wasn't born in the country and haven't spent much time there.
Hong Kong from Victoria Peak at night. We never got tired of this view. Photography by Kayo Chang Black
When Derek and I were based in Hong Kong, I often told people I was from Hong Kong. People never questioned my answer —after all, I can pass as someone from Hong Kong. Derek also told people that he was from Hong Kong. Once, in the jungles of Sri Lanka, our tour guide looked dismayed when Derek told him where he was from.
“You? Hong Kong?” The tour guide shook and nodded his head. A white guy from Hong Kong? impossible! He probably thought to himself.
What the tour guide didn’t realize was that there are many people of European descent who identify Hong Kong as home. Due to colonialism, the British had a presence in Hong Kong since the 19th century (as was also the case in Sri Lanka). In more recent times, there are tens of thousands of expatriates of European descent in Hong Kong who have children in the city. They may go to their parent’s country of origin for university and eventually return to Hong Kong for work.
When Derek said he was from Hong Kong, he wasn’t being untruthful. Hong Kong was our home for almost eight years. We had gone to Hong Kong independently for work and met there in 2014. We got hitched on Halloween 2015, surrounded by family and friends. We loved the city and continued to live there until December 2019.
A peaceful protest in Wan Chai, 2019. Photography by Kayo Chang Black
In 2019, the political situation in Hong Kong grew dire. Earlier in the year, Hong Kongers protested against an unjust extradition bill in an orderly and peaceful manner. Soon, the violence escalated when the government and the police cracked down on law-abiding protestors. By late 2019, Derek and I were anxious about the riot police in our neighbourhood of Wan Chai, throwing tear gas canisters at young protestors, chasing them through the city, and arresting them. Shops, restaurants, and other businesses closed due to the unrest. People were fearful, concerned that they will be trapped when roads and MTR stations closed as the conflict between young people and the police raged on. Derek and I became disillusioned with the Hong Kong government and its ability to maintain the ‘one country two systems’ framework that was promised in 1997, when the British returned Hong Kong to China. When Derek received an offer for a dean position in Colombo, Sri Lanka, we made a difficult decision to leave the city where we met, fell in love, and made our home.
It was in Sri Lanka, a country of beauty and history where Parampara Jewellery was envisioned. I fell in love with the stunning handmade jewellery in antique shops across the country. For the majority of 2020, Derek and I called Sri Lanka home. We lived in Mount Lavinia, beachy suburbia outside of Colombo. We had a group of friends who lived close by and we would meet them for sunset downers and watch the orange disk disappear into the Indian Ocean. When we were not in a strict, government-imposed curfew to combat COVID-19, we travelled around the stunning country on their rickety train network. We visited Galle, Jaffna, Trincomalee, and Kandy. There was so much more to see, but our time in Sri Lanka was cut short.
Derek capturing the stunning sunset over the Indian Ocean in Mount Lavinia, Sri Lanka. Photography by Kayo Chang Black
Derek and I were only in Sri Lanka for one year when we had originally planned to stay for five. In the fall of 2020, we learned that Derek’s father was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF). It was terminal and as a result, we relocated to the US to spend time with family. In December 2020, we arrived in Madison, IN. Derek’s hometown is a scenic town on the Indiana side of the Ohio River, where we can see the rolling hills of Kentucky from our kitchen window. It looks like a storybook that comes to life—Madison has one of America’s largest historic districts with over 130 blocks of stunning architecture from 1812-1920. We loved going out for walks to admire the Greek Revival and Federalist brick homes and the Gothic Revival churches.
A beautiful rainbow in Madison, IN. Photography by Kayo Chang Black
In September 2021, I had to leave the US to avoid overstaying my visa. I had to leave Derek behind since Taiwan was closed to non-residents, even foreign spouses. Since I have been here, Taiwan has allowed foreign spouses to apply for visas to enter Taiwan. We hope to reunite soon so we can both call Taichung, Taiwan our home.
A family portrait. Photography by Derek Matthew Auxier Black
After moving across the world, I learn that home is where we make it. Home is not necessarily connected with skin colour or the languages we speak. It’s not relevant to citizenship or place of birth. My home is wherever Derek, Dewey, and I are together.
When I meet new people, I like to ask, “Where do you call home?” This way, they can interpret the question and tell me their life story. It’s certainly a more insightful experience than hearing the name of the country, don’t you think?